Resisting Cravings....Stupid?

I was at church today and one of the ladies asked me if I was going to diet down real skinny again this year. I said, "Yep, but this time I hope to have more muscle that shows since I was really committed this year to eating more food and lifting much heavier than ever before." She was surprised and said she did not know I lifted weights and that I was wanting muscle. Of course, she goes on to tell me how she doesn't lift because she doesn't want to look like a man. I smiled and said, "I do." And then turned away from her and talked to some other lady.

Let her think what she wants to. I know that in my clothes last comp season that I looked skinny but I did not look anorexic. And I ate so much more food than most of the women complaining about my weight loss, plus I did not have cankles like they do and so you know they had to bitch about THAT.

I think it is ironic that America in general will complain about the diet of a figure competitor and offer UNINVITED criticism about looking like men or starving and how unhealthy we are. Yet...they celebrate the skinny women for beauty and the fat women get to bitch and moan about their weight crisis while us healthy women have to just sit there and say nothing or it might hurt their feelings. So the skinny women walk around living on diet coke, cigarettes, and carrots and nobody says anything. But when I pull out my food scale to be sure I am getting enough chicken, I get looks and whispers of a eating disorder.

If I had an eating disorder, would I be so likely to cheat? Probably not. The guilt and punishment cycle would be too severe. Instead, I endure my cravings until it is WISE to indulge in them, like on a free meal or when my weight loss plateaus and I have been running on empty for awhile while pushing a heavy workout schedule. People with eating disorders just let their fears and guilt rule their stomachs and their bodies suffer the consequences. Figure competitors knuckle down and get the job done to get a top-notch fit physique that is good only for competing with. Then we make a run for bulking season so we can eat MORE healthy food. Sure there is some air of abnormality when it comes to any type of bodybuilding but that is because we tend to take it to the extreme for a competition. But then again, if we looked normal, what is competitive about THAT? Being above average is what we strive for. Being perfect, even if it is only for one day, LOL! I certainly don't look like a competitor year round. Who could live like that? NEVER eating cookies, fast food, some chips and dip, social gatherings with loads of good foods??? That is not living, that is suffering or maybe even just existing. I want MORE than that. I want to live a life that I can look back on and say WOW! I actually did something cool that not many people have the work ethic to accomplish. But I did not die trying it. Or make it a joyless lifelong suffering experience.

With that off my chest....

I want some cookies real bad!!!!! SO I better go eat some more chicken and a sweet potatoe, LOL! Free meal is not until Wednesday, folks.