Saturday, December 20, 2008

Recovery or Being lazy?

Awww......isn't she cute??? She is my baby girl Emma. I have two chocolate labs, one geriatric male and this young female. Doesn't she just look peaceful resting here? Every time I look at her laying on some carpeted floor and snoozing her snores, I wish I could be her.

Lately, with Jerome's umpteenth surgery, I have missed several workouts. My diet has also gotten way off-track! am looking forward to January because Jerome said he was going to go on my diet with me and we would do it together. He wants to cut back down and he figures if we did it together, it would be easier on budget and food prep and COMMITMENT! I keep telling myself, I am not being lazy lately, but am just in recovery instead. I have read on T-Nation that sometimes it is good to take a week offand then when you go back to the gym, you find you have more strength and can begin new lifting PR's (Personal Records).

I think the stress of sitting next to Jerome all day and all night and listening to him scream, literally SCREAM, in agony and pain from having some long ass plate and 14 screws removed from the entire length of his tibia has really gotten to me emotionally. I was looking at my NPC magazine for the hundredth time, and instead of thinking how I want this girls' arms and that girl's shoulders and another girl's quads, I was thinking how pointless it all is and how they don't even look good to me lately. I guess I am losing my fire and not to be a heartless bitch, I am beginning to really resent Jerome's accident. I feel I have put in over a year of working around this injury and that the whole time it has felt like I was trying to save a panic stricken drowning person who kept trying to hold my head under the water as they kept theirs above it. I just want it to be over with already so I can get back to training without all this added stress and worry. I prepared for my last comp with his accident looking overmy head and also while being in school full-time and rearing 3 kids. I am just tired, I guess.

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